If you put your hand..there, I swear you won't regret it.

I don’t really come here to say anything spectacular. Is that an obvious statement, or do you feel it saved you digging through the mire and saved you some time? The weather was nice enough this weekend to spend an enjoyable amount of time traipsing through the Swan Point Cemetery. UglyAgnes thinks it’s funny to try and break into crypts. She thinks there will be dead bodies lying in wait for her. She’s a vampire. Of fun! We watched “Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo” and it was 100% better than I thought it would be, a point not hard to believe given I felt it would have been the worst comedy I’d seen since “Puddle Jumpers” (which in itself wasn’t that bad, just not that good). Anyway, Deuce was 50 times better than the Dukes of Hazard movie. That was awful. There were a few funny moments, but for a movie based on a lame tv show, even I felt it was too crude. I’d rather see a crude movie divorced of any ties to something usually slated as family entertainment. The translation doesn’t work. I also watched a French film that tried to blend too many film making techniques together. Some of it really worked, reinventing a future a-la Blade Runner that made me excited, but the other parts dipped into the low budget end of effects making, drawing away from the overall initial excitement I felt about watching it. I hope this guy makes another movie that ditches the mistakes, because the parts that worked were stunning. We went to the Purgatory Chasm, but I wouldn’t go in it because it was covered in snow, ice and slush and I was wearing pants I wear to work and didn’t feel like getting them ruined. I’ll return when it’s not so covered in snow and the sign next to it doesn’t say ‘closed.’ We saw “Hostel” a week or so ago. It was really great. A lot of T&A I had to sit through, but I think it was overkill in order to be funny, and most likely to entice underage viewers. I mean, I think that’s ok. Fifteen year old boys like that kind of thing. It didn’t hurt me, I turned out pretty messed up, and that’s the norm. I think I’ve put about 15 novels on my Palm, and a bunch of WSJ, Newsweek articles. Good for those moments waiting at the Lincoln Marshall’s while someone is trying on jeans. Also loaded Tetris on it, as every single piece of electronic equipment I have that is capable of playing a port of this game has it on there. I’d put it on my flesh if it was animated. I have a long meeting to go to today so I can’t really get it together to start working on anything in particular. That’s why I’m here. If you wanted to know how you look today, my answer is simple: awful.