if you cut my throat i'll bleed royal jelly

so, what do alexis and andrea want to see? the puppet show inside my head? it's so gory and full of self-loathing. but there's always room for cheesecake and a bit of catching up out on the lanai. those two...they make me feel like i've just gone through menopause and i'm starting the next 'chapter' in my life! my collection of collectable plates (mostly Franklin Mint you can be sure) will be coming out of storage next month. we should have a plate hanging party, maybe get a little moused up on cosmos and take turns chasing men down at the senior center. what a gas! i can't believe you're even here looking for me, you stalkers! you make me feel so shiny and new, like wet leather. well, i'm going to grunt and groan my way through the rest of the work day, so you can just use your imagination to put me someplace much more fun. let's get drunk on tequila soon.